PagesThe Hospital: Trying to save our babies, moment by moment --via Caring Bridge

Monday, February 22, 2016

Behind the waterfall

Have you ever stepped behind a waterfall?  There is the moment of bracing for the water--the feeling of anticipation, nervousness (especially if the water is cold) and excitement, anticipating and then feeling the force of the spray, the overwhelming feeling of water crashing down with a deafening roar followed by the feeling of otherworldliness.  The muffled sound of the rushing, crashing cascade fills the space behind, the space unseen from the outside.  Everything outside is muted.

On Tuesday we received a birth parent profile, on Wednesday we said please show our book, on Thursday we got a call to schedule an interview, on Friday we "interviewed" and the birth parent told us she had already chosen us.  On Friday night we bought a car seat, on Saturday we got some partially made food in the freezer, cleaned the house, washed the dog and did laundry.  On Sunday we finished our hospital bags, got snacks, made muffins and painted swatches for our nursery.

The birth mom is due today.

We know from experience anything can happen; we are standing in front of the waterfall hoping to find ourselves in an otherworldly space embracing all the complexities, sorrows and joys that come with this possible, miraculous new addition to our family.



  1. Oh, oh, OH! That is amazing... I am going to hold on to hope that this is the moment for you, that you step through that torrent of water and get to that magical space behind the waterfall. Amazing how in this process everything can move so quickly... I hope so much for you in this exciting and terrifying time!

  2. Whoa. Chills down both arms. Sending so many good thoughts for everyone in the equation.