PagesThe Hospital: Trying to save our babies, moment by moment --via Caring Bridge

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


And now it begins.  It's a little false to think of this as a beginning because we've been super focused on the service for some time now and since last Friday all of our time has gone to doing physical things to get ready - preparing the yard, buying and planting flowers, cleaning, killing aphids, cleaning.  7 am to 9 pm on Saturday, for example. But tonight at 6 pm R's dad and wife arrived, after a day long flight, for our babies' memorial service.  We have both taken Thursday and Friday off work to prepare.  And so it has begun.

R's dad is a retired pastor and is officiating the service, I have never seen him preach, this is an odd way to experience something that was a central part of R's life.  I am not religious, R is not either at this point in her life. R's dad has agreed to present the service we have written and we created a space for him to speak as a grandfather and to include religion if he would like.  R's dad's wife, S is reading a poem R's aunt wrote and there is a call and response poem as well as music. We are also speaking, we each wrote something and then spliced it together so it goes back and forth between us.  I have no idea how it will feel to stand up and speak our sorrow and love. I hope this goes well.

By this, I mean the service, having house guests for almost a week, surviving, all of it.

I wish I meant, I hope being parents goes well.  I wish this was a beginning not an ending.

1 comment:

  1. Allowing others to share your grief is a gift; a gift you are giving to them and a gift they can give to you. There will be moments you will cherish from this weekend, as strange as that may sound. Moments when you get the opportunity to shout to the world that S & G were here and how very important they are; moments of insight when you feel connections to people who share your grief in some inexplicable way; moments when your broken heart lay bare yet you gain strength from the vulnerability. I wish you love light and peace, and encourage you to embrace everything, everything connected to S & G, including this memorial. <3